


Almost Home

by silasfinch



Category: Wayfarers Series - Becky Chambers
Genre: F/F, Family Drama, Fluff, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 00:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11817432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: Rosemary is facing her past with the help of her new family.





	Almost Home

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have the best beta in the world - thanks for the wonderful insights.  
> In some places I have used head cannon

 

**Almost Home**

 

Sissix is not used to waking up alone anymore.

 

It was strange how quickly she had gotten used to the warm presence in her bed. The other members of the Wayfarer's crew had strict beliefs about casual nesting when this did not occur between romantic partners.

 

There were many rumors about Aandrisk culture and sexuality. Sissix had laughed along with her friends when the more anatomically impossible ones made a splash on the feeds. However, the fundamental misunderstanding still stung a little. What she was asking for wasn't sex, either pleasure seeking or reproductive goals, the touch was far more important.

 

She had spent many nights alone after a few gently rebuffed overtures. Dr. Chef had gently wobbled willingness, but they both knew their biology and sleep cycles were incompatible in that way.

 

Fortunately, the real understanding was one benefit of her new circumstance.

 

Rosemary seemed to relish this aspect of their relationship almost as much as the pilot did. At first, Sissix had worried that her claws would do serious harm to the fragile, exposed flesh but Rosemary had merely laughed and intertwined their limbs that first night and many in the coming days and weeks.

 

The clerk had snuck back into Sissix's quarters for the span of two ten days before the Aandrisk had casually asked why she kept of the pretense of spending a restless few hours down the hall when the outcome was always the same.

 

"I did not want to appear clingy." was the sheepish confession.

Rosemary was still preoccupied with fears of being in anybody's way or outstaying a perceived welcome.

 

"I like your version of clingy, that should be apparent." Sissix accented the reassurance with a gentle series of hisses and firm tugs back into the nest of blankets.

 

It had been a simple matter after that. Rosemary's clothes and a few concessions to mammalian comfort had migrated into Sissix's spaces (like a place to store said clothes). Sissix had found it surprisingly easy to make the changes. The minor inconveniences were a small price to pay for the joy that colored her off time.

 

Rosemary's current absence was a mystery, where their different duties allowed, the pair strove to have matching downtime. Ashby was not so old-fashioned he would feel the need to enforce guidelines about such things. The rest of the crew hadn't commented beyond offering a smile over Smoky Buns.

 

Sissix reluctantly wrapped herself in a thick robe; her wardrobe had increased as well. She did not mind overly much as finding new and innovative ways to fit an Aandrisk frame seemed to make Rosemary happy. It was a strange mammalian courtship ritual that amused the pilot more than it annoyed her.

 

As predicted Sissix found Rosemary in her office hunched over several feeds.

 

"Did my grumbling about molting scare you off?"

 

Rosemary jumped startled from her contemplation. She looked surprised both by the intrusion at the late shift and by the question.

 

"No Of course not." the tone was different from the contented laughter they had shared not an hour before.

 

This tone shift immediately sent a prickle of alertness through Sissix.

 

Humans were easy to read once you paid attention to their own less sophisticated and purposeful body language.

 

"Are you reading about your family again?"

 

Rosemary had (unwisely in Sissix's vocal opinion) badgered Nib into setting up alerts for her every time Quinton Harris and his crimes merited even a passing mention in the various news feeds (official and unofficial).

 

Rosemary's face suddenly fell, and her features appeared to turn ashen in the dim lighting. Sissix didn't need many cycles amongst humans to read what these signs represented, and she hurried to her side. The tall Aandrisk was endlessly grateful that Rosemary's office upgrades meant that she could crouch comfortably and dig her claws into thick carpeting.

 

Their early experiments in this space had been less than pleasant for either of them at the time.

 

Rosemary made no protest as Sissix pulled her into a tight embrace. Her proportions were similar to that of a young fletching, and the Aandrisk almost instantly found herself crooning songs of comfort in her native language.

 

"I knew I had feelings for you when you did this" Rosemary whispered, taking up her automatic tracing of bright, shiny feathers.

 

"I should hope so, after what we had shared before I held you this way."

 

Rosemary huffed a scratchy laugh "No I mean when you dropped everything to comfort that old Aandrisk in the marketplace - even your people were made uncomfortable by her strangeness. Your compassion was beautiful to see."

 

Sissix hummed in appreciation "You are rare amongst your kind as well; even Ashby and Kizzy are often uncomfortable with our tactile ways."

 

"Their loss."

 

"What has upset you so? new developments in the trials?" Quinten Harris was not going quietly it seemed nor were his descendants ready to forfeit wealth without a fight or six.

 

"My mother is dying."

 

Sissix may not understand the concept of parenthood in a human way, but she knows the loss of House Family and elders all too well.

 

"She used the last of her family's wealth to travel anonymously to one of the healing facilities in Alpha Centauri. Nib picked the move up because she used an old family shipping signature. He sent me a Priority One scrib just now."

 

"What do you want to do?"

 

"Crawl into my mother's lap and read a bedtime story."

 

"I could take you there. It wouldn't be difficult at all. You can make peace before your mother dies" the Aandrisk term for parental grief was more intricate, but the principles in both cultures were the same.

 

"We lost our peace a long time ago, but I would like to see her."

 

"Then you shall. I will talk to Ashby and arrange everything. You go back to sleep for awhile."

 

***

 

After a lengthy discussion, Rosemary, Sissix and Dr. Chef would be making the trip to the medical facility.

 

When he had made the pronouncement, Sissix was surprised. He had privately confessed that the wasting disease that was afflicting Rosemary's parent was one of the most brutal that could occur naturally. He had colleagues at the system facilities and wanted to share his long experience in wasting sicknesses (a curiously pan-species phenomenon).

 

Rosemary had predictably refuted the loss of essential personal, but Ashby had argued that the upgrades and subsequent posting in the GC made all the difference. They could spare a few off days now and again; if anything critical came up, they had the capacity and facilities to use the medical AI or pay for a real time consult.

 

The regulators had been hassling them both to develop contingency plans for the ship and the crew. This turn of events was an excellent opportunity to do so.

 

Ashby was tendered hearted, but he wasn't foolish. They would not have permission to go until he was confident in their ability to cope.

 

It wasn't until they were departing that Rosemary realized he had loaded her account with an extra cycle pay just in case she needed to make any arrangements. Pei had also included an Aleutian memory cube with precise instructions on how to use it and her best wishes.

 

Getting one of her paper letters had become something of a point of pride amongst the crew, and it made Rosemary smile.

 

 

***

 

"How bad is it going to be, Dr. Chef?"

 

Dr. Chef knew a multitude of answers to that particular question.

He could answer with the clinical details, complete with the estimation of organ failure. He could answer from a palliative care perspective, approximating what the afflicted will feel at the various stages. His long experience meant that he could make a reasonable approximation of how long the process of dying would take. The key was knowing what the questioner wanted from that question.

 

Rosemary seemed caught between either end of the continuum.

 

"Your mother has been gravely ill for a long time. Fortunately, they have been able to contain the worse of her pain symptoms, but this is a malignant and unpredictable syndrome of which we know little.

 

"Is there anywhere else she could go? The treatment she could try?"

 

Dr. Chef wobbled softly extending a pair of hand-feat in sympathy, willing his vocal synchronization to remain intact, knowing that Rosemary had likely exhausted herself researching these questions already.

 

"Even if we have the fastest ship on record and the latest technologies it would still be too late. Your parent's body is just too unstable."

 

"Will she be in much pain? Will she know me?"

 

"It is hard to say on both counts. Lucidity will come and go."

 

 

***

 

"You don't have to come with me. My mother isn't xenophobic by any means, but she won't exactly be pleasant either. She never could handle being vulnerable or looking less than immaculate."

 

Neither of them mentioned that such characteristics might not be so relevant anymore.

 

"I've faced down worse than the scion of a wealthy family before," Sissix reassured her companion for the third or fourth time since they cleared the docking station.

 

"I just..."

 

Sissix gently hugged her crewmate "You have enough on your mind without adding this to the burden I permit you to lay off the championing for a little while."

 

The teasing was gentle, and it did manage to coax a tired smile which had been Sissix's intent all along.

 

 

One of Rosemary's more attractive characteristics is that she is an idealist to her very bones. Since becoming a volunteer archivist, she has become a vocal champion of the feeds for interspecies cooperation. In particular, when it came to harmful cultural stereotypes and prejudice.

 

The fact that Sissix had spent many a cycle shrugging off crude comments and attacks from purists did not matter to Rosemary. In her mind, Sissix had been maltreated, and she wasn't above getting into public debates over the use of the term lizard or when men made insulting propositions.

 

"She dotes on you," Kizzy had laughed after witnessing an amorous technician slink away, suddenly not feeling quite so bold.

 

There wasn't a precise translation for such a term in Sissix's native language, but there were many variations, and the notion felt as pleasant as basking after a long winter.

 

The prospect of standing witness at one of the sadness events in Rosemary's life gave her the same feeling.

 

It was simply the real intimacy of what it meant to be family; Hatch, Feather or House.

 

 

 

 

***

 

"I don't think I can do this"

 

Rosemary's knuckles were white against her scales, and her voice was wavering as they stood before the medical facility.

 

"We can go wherever you want to. However, I think for your own heart’s sake you need to be right here now. Confronting your uncertainty is your path to contentment."

 

It was a concept that had no true equivalent in Klip or human culture, but Rosemary wasn't wedded to using Klip and would consider the perspective deeply.

 

It was Rosemary's habit when nervous to tug at the feather jewelry at her neck. Sissix made a mental note to start making a replacement. Human hands could be surprisingly destructive at times

 

She had the feathers to spare.

 

Her friends from home and her Tet mates would tease her for being besotted. Within the Aandrisk culture, it was considered the folly of the very young to become overly attached to one individual or set of lovers. This indulgence was perceived to be closing yourself off to the broader experiences life had to offer.

 

Not so long ago she would have been amongst that Aandrisk privately bemused by the preoccupation with monogamy.

 

As with many things, her perspective on the matter had changed for the better. She was content to forge her path in every sense of the word. This reality may not always include Rosemary and their life together, but for now, it very much did; especially when Rosemary smiled gratefully and kissed her cheek.

 

The best moments are often the smallest.

 

We can make it each other stronger and better.

 

***

 

"Hey Mom"

 

Alice Harris looked terrible. Dr. Chef had been careful to warn Rosemary about the potential horror of the condition. In reality, though nothing prepares you for seeing your once formidable mother struggling to do much beyond breathing. There were a series of mental snapshots of her family that Rosemary hadn't expected to have to overwrite. She knew that the chances of her seeing them again were slim.

 

Otherwise, there was no point to a comprehensive and expensive disguise that was designed specifically to ensure anonymity.

 

There was a level of self-deception as well; Once the initial shock of the questioning and the awful headlines Rosemary had desperately wanted a few uncompromised memories.

 

"Rosemary, what are you doing here? Why are you crying? Was Calvin mean to you again? You must stand up for yourself girl".

 

There was still a note of command in the rasping wheeze even if her childhood flights with her cousin were a lifetime ago.

 

"I came to see you, Mumma, I heard you weren't well, and my captain let me take leave to see you."

 

Rosemary refused the healer's gentle suggestion to play along with whatever period her mother was experiencing.

 

There had been enough comfortable delusions in this family to last a lifetime. They may all plead ignorance now, but it was highly unlikely that her father had acted entirely alone or that the credits could be legitimately reconciled by anyone with a competent sense of accountancy.

 

The police officials had made that painfully and abundantly clear much to the media's delight.

 

"You always were such a good girl, come and sit by me, Rosie. Tell me about your days? Have you still been learning Hand-Speak?"

 

There was a spark of something like interest in the sunken eyes.

 

Rosemary obligingly sat and recounted her new life as a crewmember aboard a tunneling ship, complete with little character sketches of the crew and their everyday lives. The general overview had evolved into a love letter to Sissix, but her mother didn't seem to mind.

 

Sissix had smiled broadly from her position in the corner of the room.

 

The aspect that was surprising was how soothing; it felt good to share childhood memories Rosemary consigned to a mental box never to be examined thoroughly again.

 

Not everything in her life as Rosemary Harris was tainted to beyond repair it seemed.

 

Life on the rim should have taught her not to believe in the infallibility of absolutes.

 

***

 

"I seem to spend a lot of time crying on your scales."

 

Sissix let out a rumbling sound and continued to rock her lover gently as they lay tangled together in their hotel room. Dr. Chef had stayed at the hospital, eager colleagues wanting to get his unique perspective as both a Grum and a healer. He was a natural teacher in any and all settings.

 

"There isn't a finite amount of such things Rosemary, grieving is a complicated state. You can cry with me whenever you need for as long as you need. We are not on a timetable."

 

Rosemary quietly snuggled closer and continued to recount family stories in no particular order. Some stories were happy, but many were tinged with the sadness of hindsight. Sissix didn't interrupt and only wiped away the tears intermittently.

 

"Thank you for staying with me. It means allot to me. I hope you know that"

 

Strangely Rosemary never said I love you in the way Ashby and Kizzy did. Instead, she had a private language for that expression that only needed a little deciphering. This lack of declaration was another little ritual Rosemary liked to play.

 

 

***

 

Operation Make Rosemary Smile was in full swing.

 

There were many things about Kizzy that drove Ashby up the wall. Principle amongst them was her weakness for less than legal modifications and their regular talks about the use of Smash. He did at times feel like the protective older brother - who had made promises to both her fathers to keep their talented daughter from inventing her way to destruction.

 

However, Kizzy's most lovable qualities were how much she cared about their little family and showed her appreciation in a big and small ways. It wasn't surprising that when he had delivered the news that Rosemary's estranged mother had died and their crewmates were on the way back to ship, Kizzy had sprung into action, this is her domain.

 

As her captain (and the keeper of the budget in Rosemary's absence) he had to tamper down the most eccentric of the suggestions (live band performances and a sentient companion animal). Aside from those stipulations he had let her buy all the extra food, soap and gifts she wanted. Jenks become involved in the project - obligingly rewiring display lights into the Fishbowl and hunting for favorite foods of the colonies on the feeds.

 

Even Ohan had made a few surprise contributions. He was almost unrecognizable now that his health had stabilized and he could return to modified duties. He seemed sincerely concerned about their newest crew member and readily joined in on the preparations. The former pair had revealed somewhat shyly that Rosemary had been instrumental in helping him adjust to his new reality.

 

Rosemary had worked hard with the 'heretics’ to ensure that the new ship could help Ohan acclimatize. It wasn't as if they could go to traditional sources.

 

"I am doing the same for her now. In a small way."

 

it still took a while to get used to the new cadence of his voice and his firm sense of individuality.

 

Sissix had smiled when he had relayed the plans (wanting to get her input before the plans were too underway). She had relayed that Rosemary was doing fairly well and seemed calmer for the experience of saying a final goodbye.

 

"We are almost home, feather brother. I think she will welcome such a homecoming."

 

The ship wouldn't be complete until they were reunited.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
